Broken
by Girl On Craic
Summary: Just a little something that was brought to life as I went along. Rated M for mildly strong language.
1. Chapter 1

_**Broken**_

"You wanna try and get that knife near me, bitch?" The young Spartan yelled as he pulled his Magnum from his side gauntlet. I winked and flashed my camo on. He shot, losing track of me already.

"Now hun, that aint a way to treat a girl." My voice echoed around the small CQC training quarters. He looked around viciously as I closed in on him. My knife in hand and his Magnum lowered. Sneaking from behind, I held the blunt end to his throat.

"Dead!"

**Training Session Ended:**

**Spartan Echo: 1 min 12 secs.**

**Spartan Aura: DNF**

"I told you, listen. And always have your gun up and know where your blade is." I twirled my personalized tanto blade in my hand before sheathing it. He put his lightly clothed hand to my cheek.

"Baby girl, you know exactly how to treat a man!" And with that I reeled his arm around and held the sharpened blade to his throat.

"Don't call me that you little shit!" I said emphasizing 'shit' with a little jab into his Adam's apple. He fell as I let him go.

"Dyke"

Returning to the armour assembly room I decided to see my little sister on the way. Her team had their own room, considering they were 'special'. Walking in I see her team mates eye me up and then place a hand to their temple in salute. I signal for them to relax.

"Hey sis, how's Spartan life treating you?" I said as she was about to remove her own Commando grade armour. She turned and smiled at me as I advanced on her.

"It's great, thanks for securing this armour, people think I'm a real bad-ass in it." We both looked at each other for a moment, in silence, and then burst out laughing. Unfortunately after a while, I decided to leave and smile at her, giving her a hug before shedding some advice on her about not running in and shooting her way around; patience is virtue.

Finally at an armour assembly point, I stood in and let it do its job. My Scout armour was removed and stored close by for when I'd need it next. Returning to the Captain, I decided to see that Spartan 117 guy. A Spartan II apparently.

He was alone when I walked in. His armour gone and his body looking somewhat relaxed as he sat on the small bench on an observation deck. He looked at me as I stood a few feet away from him. Funny; I respected him, but right now I was terrified to look at him. When I lost someone in battle, I didn't want a soul to talk to me. I had my family or what was left of them, I had friends, and I even had the people from my previous job as a banker to talk to me. This guy has no-one. So do I make contact? Do I say something? Do I leave? I quickly glanced toward him and his eyes met mine, like he knew I was going to look. I decided to do something.

Turning toward him and sitting next to him, his head now lowered and his dark eyes glazed over. I placed my head on his large bulging shoulder and put as much of my arm as I could around him. I said nothing, made no other contact, did nothing else. I sat and held him until the Infinity's announcement system came on:

**"Calling Commander Sarah Palmer to the ships main observation deck.**

**Repeat, Commander Palmer to the ships main observation deck."**

I rose and his posture stayed the same as I left the room. He may have had nobody before. Now he has someone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I decided to try and continue this little thing. All reviews much appreciated.**

Watching her leave due to her duties, I wonder why she did what she did. Knowing nothing about me, she sought to comfort me. She tried to comfort me. She did comfort me. But why?

I decide enough is enough and get up from the small bench. Leaving the room, marines see me, salute me and whisper as I pass. Do they see me as human as them? Or am I some sort of machine, programmed to kill when ordered? Thinking back to the first Halo ring, to Reach. I was like a machine. And yet losing marines in battle did have an effect. Though _she _made those feelings known, _her_ voice was the only thing able to capture how I felt. Now that _she _is gone, my feelings are lay bare for all to see, but they still see me as different.

I continue to walk the Infinity, past marines as they salute and whisper, into the large room of armour application stations. Did I really think removing my armour would change the fact she's gone? Did I try and fool myself into believing she's still out there?

These other Spartans see me, they are like me, changed from injections and yet I'm still an outcast. My feet seem to be moving by themselves toward that one Spartan, as I briefly gaze toward the other Spartans that are less understanding. Have they never lost someone? Have they never felt pain when hurt? Have they never seen someone who has lost somebody? I feel they haven't. I feel they think I am a machine; I have no heart, no soul.

I see the sign ahead of me read 'Main Observation Deck' and instantly I move a little faster toward it. The door opens to reveal Captain Lasky, her and many marines as they stare at me. I walk in and allow the door behind me to shut. I look at her; she's in shock to see me again so soon. I decide to speak for all to hear; "Sarah. Help."


	3. Chapter 3

I observe the people around me; the marines are all staring, with their mouths open ajar. Thomas is looking at me, waiting for me to answer. I switch my gaze back to _him_ in the doorway, am I the only one that sees the truth in his eyes? Do they see him as I do or am I different? The announcement system comes on again from a separate part of the ship:

**"Could John one one seven come to the Med Wing for inspection.**

**Repeat Sierra one one seven to the Med Wing for inspection."**

He looks at me with what seems like desperation and then turns to leave. He's gone as quickly as he entered. Thomas addresses me softly: "Sarah, are you okay?" His voice is low as the crew around us is in high conversation at what just happened. I nod toward the Captain as he clears his throat: "Okay everybody, back to work. I don't want a word of what just happened to leave this room or I'll court-martial all of you for defying an order. Am I clear?" The room fills with 'Sir Yes sir' as I smile to myself for his understanding. My orders are given for the day; to separate the Fireteams to other ships in our cluster, train in new marines and even newer Spartans and then exercise myself in some War Games simulations. I quickly get going and start my chores. When I leave the room, I walk past Spartans and marines alike. They salute me as I walk past. Do they see me like _him_? Am I _that _different? I turn quickly to see how they react. They smile and continue to talk but when they see me looking they salute once more and apologise for smiling and laughing. Why would they apologise for such a thing, don't they know I have a sense of humour too. I like jokes and wise cracks as much as the next person. I sigh and continue to walk again.

After eventually finishing my chores, I begin to ponder what had happened earlier on. Did he want an answer? Did he expect one? I don't know, but what I did know was that at this moment he was being physically tested to see if he is still fit for battle. If he were to be mentally tested, now that would be a different story. After pondering and unable to think of an answer, I make my way back to my room. Some sleep will do me good.


	4. Chapter 4

"Master Chief Petty Officer John one one seven reporting for inspection."

I stand to attention and take into consideration what I had done on deck, in my mind it seemed human almost natural to ask for help, but was it natural for something like me to do so, I didn't know. These doctors knew nothing of how I felt and it was for the better that they didn't know. I did as they instructed and ran, jumped and fought, and having them assess me seemed to calm me down, made me seem...myself again. I started to run faster, jump higher, fight harder and my body began to react and feel stronger, feel tougher. Was this another way for me to try and forget and fool myself. No, it wasn't, I was feeling better, I was feeling myself again and I was ready for whatever these people had to throw at me.

Then my mind stopped running. I thought about what I had felt the unusual feeling of Sarah's presence when she had comfort me. The feeling of want, of needing another human's company. These tests were physical but that wanting for Sarah is mental, emotional even, but so was the attachment to _her_. It was physical, mental and emotional. But _she _wasn't human and I still felt more human because of that connection. And that is how I feel with Sarah.

Human.

**Author's Note: I know 'but' isn't used at the start of a sentence, just to clear that up and if you haven't noticed, John's sections are shorter, I'm just trying to keep him more him. If that makes sense.**


	5. Chapter 5

Waking up, I feel better but still unsure of what to say to John, _if_ I see him again. I thought about him and myself, about how we aren't that different and about how we are both outcasts. I finally get up, organise myself and then head out in search of John. I go to the armoury and the armour assembly points to see where he is. I look to where we 'embraced' for lack of a better or less wuss of a word. Nothing. He needed to know how I felt. I wanted to know how he felt. I didn't care, I wanted him, I wanted him the way a person yearns for another. That feeling had vanished as I fought the Covenant, as I trained soldiers and myself. Fortunately that feeling was only barely showing when Thomas would talk with me, our little back and forth of caring or jokes. Those small moments showed me I was still human, and John's need or want of help showed me that he is still human as well.

I go to where he last was, the Med Wing, level 137. If that was the last place he was, then the docs would know where he is. Upon arrival, the doctors are in awe over John's results. "Hey egg heads, what's all the noise about?" They turn to me and start yapping about god knows what, so I stop one and ask out: "Okay, congrats on your discovery, now where is John one one seven?" A doctor points toward a door that leads to the service lift that would then lead me to the living quarters of the Spartans. I run out the door and enter the lift in hopes of finding him when I exit. Luckily I do. I see him (though he is hard to miss) walking toward his own room, but before he enters, I call to him: "John..." He turns to me and shows a little, tiny smile. He nods for me to follow me, which I reluctantly do.


	6. Chapter 6

As much as I didn't want to smile, I did, as soon as I heard her call my name. I didn't say anything back, just signalled for her to come closer. She walks, slowly, casually toward me as other Spartans walk past. Her appearance turns back to what my own looks like, hard, tough and emotionless. And yet here we both are, thinking only our own thoughts on one another that keep us compelled to meet. I watch as she strolls into my room, turning to me as I glimpse a smile from her. As I myself enter, a feeling unknown to me welling up as she looks around and finally turns to me. Her eyes show a look of cruel intentions but her whole face is smiling and happy.

"Sarah, I..." the words are there but can't escape. I look away from her and think of how to approach this unfamiliar situation. I give a slight laugh, thinking to myself; I've been in battle, faced fierce foes and luckily lived to tell about it, but as I stand here, with a woman with feelings I've only lately discovered, I find this is a battle I won't be able to win. I decide to give it a shot and look toward Sarah, but as I turn she is already in front of me, her eyes piercing my own gaze, her hands move up my chest and make their way up my neck, she holds my marred face in her hands. I could push her away with ease and yet I crave to see what she does. I do what feels natural and place my hands on her hips. She moves her face closer to mine; her warm breath is felt on my neck. I close my eyes and wonder how this will play out.


	7. Chapter 7

Whether it was lust, sympathy or some other non-sense making emotion, I kissed him. My hands holding his head still, his eyes closed. Thinking what, I wonder. Knowing what I did about him, he never really had any teenage years, years to make friends, years to 'fall in love', years to...make love. He was basically inexperienced in everything that didn't involve a battle plan and armour. I wanted to show him what he missed. I had a feeling he was letting me take charge, so I slowly nudged him toward the small rectangle in the corner of the room, that was meant to be a bed. Considering he is who he is, I had a feeling he would be a little bit big to lie on the bed, so I turn as he was beginning to 'get into it' and pull him toward me, I fall onto the bed as he stays standing. His face looks confused, child-like and innocent. I smile while crawling further onto the bed and signal for him to come closer.

He sits with his back to me, which causes me to question what I'm doing. Am I taking it too far too fast? Should I slow it down? I decide to sit next to him and place my hand on his knee. "John, are you okay? Do you want to stop?" He looks at me, smiles and covers my hand with his own. _He _kisses _me _this time and I gratefully accept it. When he retreats from the embrace, he stands and heads toward the door, but stops short of it. "Thank you, Sarah." He then opens the door, which I take, is for me to leave. I get up and begin to walk out but as I pass him, I glide one hand up his arm and part with a final caress to the cheek.

"No John, thank you." A small grin shows itself as I depart. The door closes slowly behind me and I make my way to my own room. I wonder what was to happen next. As the service lift doors close, I hear a large bang. My eyes close. A single breath leaves my chest.


	8. Chapter 8

What was I doing? My fist makes contact with the door shortly after she leaves. Anger swelling like a balloon about to pop. I pull a chair away from a small table in the room and hurl it against the wall. Feelings. No wonder I'm such an outcast, I never showed any feelings until _she_ passed. Was _her_ sacrifice a way of releasing _my_ feelings? If so, it worked and I didn't like them. The emotions that are begging to be released. They're prying their way out of me.

I have known no other way than to do as instructed, do what is natural to me. And that has always been to fight. I have saved countless lives, species, and worlds. So much of me has been lost along the way but I have gained so much. Now what I have been deprived of is being given to me at last... some sense of happiness and peace. Do I deserve it? Should I accept it? I am a soldier, a warrior. Once seen as humanity's last hope. What am I now?

I decide to calm down. Think. Think about me. Then think of her. Of Sarah. I...I enjoyed the touch, the sense of want. I will sit and ponder my thoughts. Sleep is unnecessary now.


	9. Chapter 9

My room is within sight, but as I stood in the corridor, my mind raced. Had I done something wrong for him to want me gone? Am I doing something wrong? Should I have left him alone altogether?

No.

He deserves love more than anybody, a person who has had their childhood taken from them, forced into labour of an unnatural kind to a child. Somehow he has prevailed through the years; somehow he was survived longer than the rest. My feet keep moving toward my room, but I don't want to go there. As I snap from my thoughts a voice is heard from behind me.

"Sarah. Did you find him?" An authoritive yet sensitive voice. Thomas.

I turn to see him, a look of concern and a hint of curiosity. I smile and open my door while gesturing for him to follow me in. The door closes with a `swoosh`.

"Yeah, I found him. Went...well, I suppose." Tom sits down and nods with a little smile. He'll crack a joke, I feel it, but I won't laugh. "Well he has been out of action for a while." He laughs. I give a faint smile and nod sheepishly. Tom quickly stops and clears his throat. "Tom, I just can't seem to _get_ him. He's human, but what he's been through...I don't know. I just want to help him adjust, to relax, to..."

"Enjoy the little things?" Tom breaths out. "Well, Sarah, look at it this way; he may be a super soldier, fighting the bad guys, saving the galaxy and all that... **_but_** he is still human, and he has been hurt. The hurt can only last so long. Give him time. When he needs you...or wants you. He'll find you." Thomas finishes and gets up to leave. The door slides open once more. My gaze is fixed on the floor but out of focus. I'm drifting into a deep thought. I feel Thomas look at me, and then he just leaves.

John does need time. He'll find me. _If_ he needs me.


End file.
